8/10/04 Well....

It's been tough getting back to the computer while my hubby has been out of town. My updates are coming fewer and farther between. But Im going to keep this up and see what comes of it. One thing that is disappointing is that there is no "counter" to show if anyone is even reading this thing! Each week I type something and then wonder..."Am I just writing to myself?" Oh well, it is somewhat therapeutic I suppose, and I enjoy it. So if I am only writing these blog pages for myself, I will have a whole book on this period of my life when I am finished.

Friendship is an odd thing isnt it? Most people I know have friends they go out and do things with all the time. If they have kids then they have friends who have kids that they do things with. It's been hard to make new friends in recent years. I dont know if it is because as you get older you get more set in your ways, or if you just lose the stamina to start from scratch with someone.

I recently got back in touch with two friends from high school and it has been real fun emailing each other back and forth because there isnt much pretense. We already know each other, and although it's been years between each visit, and sometimes months between calls or emails, it is good to have that bond already established. I also stay in touch with two or three friends from college. After seeing eac hother date, marry, and move away there is still something that stays familiar though the years have passed.

I think what I miss most is having a best friend. Dont get me wrong, my husband is definitely my best friend, but I miss having a best girlfriend. Someone I can count on calling regularly, go out with on a moment's notice, and someone who just knows me inside and out. Over the years there have been best friends who have come and gone, but right now that's what I miss most. Maybe it's because most of my girlfriends live on the other side of the country! Or maybe it's because I just cant seem to branch out and start fresh. I miss the comfort and joy that comes from having a best friend and knowing that you are someone else's best friend. But I love the friends I have and miss the distant ones all dearly.