x's and o's

I dont know about you, but in our home my husband and I have certain things that are each person's responsibility. For instance, I clean the house up to the laundry room door, he covers everything beyond that. I handle laundry, dishes, and most things concerning our daughter (as a stay at home mom) and he handles the yard, cars, bugs, and "technical" things around the house. He takes care of the x's, and I take care of the o's. It's the way we play the game.

However, when he travels, which he does often for his work, my duties begin to include the entire alphabet. There is no that division that is so common to our relationship. Suddenly I have full responsibility of all areas. If a bug is lying dead in the laundry room, my job to pick it up. If the VCR suddenly stops working, my job to figure it out (ok, bad example, I usually call him on the cell and have him walk me thru it.) If water is leaking into the sunroom during a rainstorm, my job to clean it up. If the car wont start as we are heading off to the park, my job to call the tow truck and handle the situation. If an ice storm hits Georgia in the middle of winter and we lose power for three days, my job to figure out what the heck my daughter and I are going to do.

Though I am a fully capable human being and know how to take care of these kinds of situations, the constant accepting and relinquishing of control has taught me a lot about the marriage relationship. First of all, life sure is a lot easier with a help mate around. Yeah, I can pull the trash cans to the curb every Monday morning, and I can find time to wash the car, but I sure prefer having someone around to help with all the things that come up each day. I believe having kids makes it tougher to accomplish these tasks, harder to get the fiascos taken care of, and I sure wouldnt want to be doing it alone. I greatly admire those who do.

It has also taught me how difficult it is to constantly confuse those roles. To be in charge of all the o's is just fine with me. I may not like them all, but they are my duties and I accept that. To then take on all the x's is often times overwhelming, but after a day or two I get used to it and it becomes a new way of life. The most difficult part for me is then relinquishing those roles when my husband returns. Running the house becomes my job for a while, then I have to share that again, and I want to, but it is really hard to give up the control. I find my way of doing things "better" :) than his, even though his way is perfectly ok. This causes a lot of tension at times as we adjust back into our regular roles.

Anyway, there you have what is on my mind right now. My husband just got home for four days and things just got regular again, but soon he leaves for another couple of days, so the game continues!