...sugar and spice and everything nice...

Friday, May 20, 2005

Hi friends

Once again it has been forever since Ive posted anything. And once again I apologize. See, pregnancy and me go together like oil and water. The end result is always a beautiful blessing, but getting there is pure disgust to me. I am so thankful that God has given me this opportunity again, especially since we had the miscarriage in december. But these are always the yuckiest days of my life. I am definitely not one of those ladies who just "loves being pregnant." Im not one of those ladies who will go on to have oodles of kids, though i greatly admire them. I am not one of those ladies who likes a challenge (unless it is a boyfriend who became my husband :). But I am one of those people who was an only child (in a matter of speaking but that is a whole different story I may share with you someday,) and I have always wanted to be sure my children have siblings.

I just think it adds to the whole family experience, even if you just have TWO. There are so many things you learn when you have a sibling. Like how to have fun! How to share! How to endure when someone messes up your stuff! How to understand that someone still loves you when they say "I hate you!" How to know that just because someone ignores you for a day they will probably be your best friend again tomorrow! Having someone to play with on vacation, during summer break, when you go visit grandma, when you are bored at some parent party. And then as an adult, someone to talk to about all the wedding stuff, to raise your kids with, to share the burden when your parents get older and ill and need care. People who you will always have even after your parents are gone, in most cases.

Dont get me wrong, I have turned out relatively well adjusted (ahem, at least I think so...) but there were some hard lessons I didnt learn until I was at least college aged. Things other people just grew up used to because they had siblings. At first my husband drove me nuts because he was always "picking on" me. Constant teasing and joking around. I couldnt take it. No one was constantly teasing me at my house--I mean, my mom never made fun of my toes, hastled me about my "tough girl" attitude when I got angry, or relentlessly pursued me during a game of UNO, giving me DRAW FOUR after DRAW FOUR! What was he doing??? Ah-ha, after about three years I realized this is a "love language" that many family members share that I just didnt get. If I had known that years before I might not have been the butt of so many jokes in jr. high and high school! No wonder everyone loved to tease me (in fun), I couldnt take a joke!

I know that many siblings dont get along, and often siblings dont turn out friends or keep in touch. But I guess the idea that it might work out to be some of their best friendships in life encourages me to endure the sickness. So I cling to the toilet bowl telling myself it is all worth it in the long run, and that soon this will end. Thanks to those of you who have stuck around. In a few weeks I should be back to normal ("please Lord?") and posting regularly. Until then, if you stop by and things havent been updated, picture me lying on the couch crumpled up in fetal position trying to acknowledge my daughter now and then.


Blogger joy madison said...

I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Hopefully after a few months you'll start feeling better again.

I have 4 brothers and there have been ups and downs, but now; now that we are all adults, we get along soooo well. We love each other, and love to be with each other....I don't know what I'd do without them.

Like my dad says, "who'd we get rid of now?" Basically, they are all so important now, we couldn't have a family of any less.

11:27 PM

Blogger meridith said...

wow, that post is really insightful. i was basically an only child till i was about 11 and my mom re-married and had my 3 brothers. we are so far apart in age that i never really got to learn any of those things either until later. and i am still learning them!

6:38 PM

Blogger mommy zabs said...

I'm sorry you are so sick. My heart goes out to you. I totally feel you on not loving pregnancy. Wouldn't it be great to be able to love it! I pray that God gives you some relief soon so that you can enjoy some of this!

8:44 PM


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