4 weeks

Four weeks?? I cant believe today marks 4 weeks since Zaine's birth. I have to say that things are going much better than they were at 2 weeks, and my hormones are leveling off a bit. I say a bit because I still have occasional melt downs and cause the whole house to become unbalanced, but thankfully these outbursts are happening less and less! But it is tough--a lot of the time--and I am prone to freak outs!

For example, yesterday I was trying to share a simple story with Nate but at the same time Luxie wanted me to play with her. I explained that I wanted to tell daddy the story and then we would play, she would have to wait a moment. She decided she just couldnt wait and instead decided to throw a tantrum, breaking down into a sobbing mess. I know this is normal for a child who is learning to share attention with a sibling, but it was such a big tantrum that it woke the baby up! So then both Luxie and Zaine were crying! I scolded Luxie because she knows not to throw tantrums anyway, and then she ran to Nate for coddling. I asked Nate not to coddle her because I was trying to teach her about tantrums, and this caused us to begin to argue! So Luxie and Zaine were crying, Nate and I were bickering, I went to calm the baby, he went to his studio, I then went to calm Luxie, I never finished my story and I ended up a mess! And this happens every couple of days or so!

But no, it has also been a wonderful experience. Zaine is a beautiful, good little baby, and she has already changed so much. She follows Nate or I with her eyes and responds to all of us--even Luxie when she hears our voices. She is on a pretty regular routine--I am establishing an 8am wake up time and try to stick with that no matter what. That means that the first feeding each day is always around 8am and that sets the tone for the rest of the day with feedings every 2.5-3 hours. So she follows that real well, and then at around 8pm I feed her and put her to bed. I feed her once more around 1030 and then let her sleep until she wakes up in the night. She has been going 4 hours between feedings at night which has been wonderful because most nights I get two 3hour stretches of sleep before morning for a total of about 6 hours. I can live on 6 hours, even though I'd prefer it to be straight thru! What makes it so tough is not having any chance to rest during the day. With your first you can sleep when they sleep. Unfortunately Luxie and Zaine kind of rotate schedules now so one is up when one is down and there is no time for sleeping!

Luxie has suddenly taken on new identities and has created a sort of pretend world for herself. I find it interesting that this happened literally the week after I got home with the baby, so it must be a result of having the new little one around! She loves the cartoon "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch" and spends the greater part of each day in "Sunny Patch" as "Squirt" her favorite character from the show. Occasionally she will switch it up and be "Dragon" or "Shimmer" (these are all bugs) but most of the time she is "Squirt." Squirt will only answer to Squirt, and if you ask Luxie to do anything as Luxie you are quickly corrected as to just who she is. The pretending has evolved to include Nate and I, who are no longer mommy and daddy but "Miss Spider" (the mommy spider) and "Holly" (the daddy spider.) Zaine is "Wiggle" the younger brother spider. If I tell her I need to feed Zaine I am quickly corrected "She's Wiggle. She's Wiggle." If I say "Mommy needs to eat something" I am told, "No you're Miss Spider." If I say "Please go tell daddy dinner is ready" she corrects me "No, Holly" and then calls out "Holly! Time for dinner!" This is not periodically but EVERY time. At church on Sunday I warned her teacher that she has been pretending to be Squirt and may only answer to that. And I warned Luxie that her teacher may not remember to call her Squirt like we do, and she still had to listen and obey regardless!

It has become her world. I am very thankful that "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch" is a cute cartoon and the characters are very lovable! And I know this will end soon, or maybe Zaine will grow up with the nickname "Wiggle"...but in a small way it kind of hurts my heart because I know it is some way she is trying to deal with the situation! Actually it is funny because it has become a good way to explain things to her. When the chaos broke out the other morning (the story I shared above) I was able to say "Miss Spider cant spend all her time with Squirt. Sometimes she has to take turns and spend time with Wiggle or Holly or the other buggies." She seems to grasp it better that way!

I am feeling good, basically back to normal aside from occasional tenderness in the scar area. And I am so glad I had another, for Luxie's sake and just because. Things are hard now, but I know they will get better and I look forward to seeing what is to come.