I have a confession to make...

It is a little embarrassing to admit this...I mean, very embarrassing to admit this. It is something I have struggled with for a long time and just when I think I have overcome it it pops back up into my life. Im really not sure how to handle it because I never know when this problem might suddenly appear out of nowhere. You see, as an intelligent woman it is becoming quite bothersome. So I decided to humbly confess my stumbling block to the rest of the world (ok, just the twelve of you that read this blog, but you get the picture.) You see.....I....I....I....mispronounce words!

I know how this all started. Years ago I was innocently reading some amazing novel like "Pride and Prejudice" or one of my favorite Agatha Christie mysteries and I came across a word that I didnt know. So I sounded it out and moved on understanding what the word meant. The problem is when I sounded it out I put emphasis in the wrong place or made silent letters not silent and created my own new word. What's funny is that I actually know the real word, but just think this is some other word! So while I am actually a National Honor Society suma cum laude graduate , I end up sounding like a high school drop out!! (not that there's anything wrong with being a high school drop out :o)

The first time I realized this was during the big "low fat" craze of the 90's. When "Fat Free" ice cream, cookies, cakes, what have you were all the rage. There was this one ingredient that I saw in almost everything...."asspartumay." Does that sound familiar? Probably not because it is really pronounced "aspertaim" or as the correct spelling goes "aspartame." I didnt know how to say it so I sounded it out and began referring to it in my secret language--until one day when I was talking to my boss and she was telling me how she didnt like the low fat ice cream because it upset her stomache. "Yeah," I said, "It's that asspartumay they put in it!" It was silent...she just kinda stared at me with a "Whas that you say?" look. Finally she said, "You mean aspartame?" "Oh, yeah, that's what I meant," I sheepishly replied. I quickly walked away.

So the idea that I mispronouce words has always been lurking in the back of my mind. Sometimes I have an intelligent reply to someone's statement then I hesitate because I am not sure I will say it correctly! Case in point, several years later at a different job it happened again. And the think is I knew the correct pronounciation of this word, I just thought it was a different word for the same thing! I was discussing a movie with a coworker and that quirky little word just popped out of my mouth. "Yeah, wasnt that a great moment," I said? "It was so po-ig-nant." Yes, I pronounced the "g" as "igg" like "big" as in "big fat dufus!" Again I was quickly corrected, "You mean poyniant (poignant)?" she asked. I stood corrected.

The one that got me on the forever to be teased list with my husband took place as we were leaving our driveway one afternoon. Just as we reached the bottom of the hill tons of traffic came upon us and we were forced to wait before pulling out. "Here comes the calvary!" I stated trying to be funny. "What did you say" asked my husband? "Here comes the calvary, why?" "Dont you mean cavalry?" "What do you mean" I asked? "It's cav-al-ry. Cal-va-ry is where Jesus died." Silently I mouthed the words to myself "cav-al-ry...cal-va-ry." Hmmm, maybe he had a point.

The last few years I havent made it thru a busy intersection with my husband without hearing "Here comes the CALVARY, watch out for Jesus!"