Happy blah blah blah

Yeah, it's my birthday. Whoopie. I have decided not to celebrate today. I choose tomorrow to be that once a year event that is supposed to outshine all other days (except of course Christmas and Easter.) It just isnt working out today. So Ive postponed it.

I'll give you a recap of the day's events up til now (2pm Eastern time). I awakened at 5am with a nightmare that my daughter had been kidnapped and my husband was running around doing nothing about it. Yes, it was just a dream, but it takes a minute to fall back asleep after something like that. It also takes a minute to fall back to sleep when your husband is still up rustling around trying to finish his work for the night/morning. Finally he goes to bed at 5:30am. And I just drift off when...what? The girl is crying! I guess she had the same dream I did because bright and early at 6am she's crying hysterically. Finally after trying to console her and realizing she is basically still asleep just disoriented from her dream, I leave her and head back to bed. But not for long since her usual wake up time is 7:30am and she's up and at em right on schedule. No special sleeping in/breakfast in bed today (yeah, right, like it's ever happened before!) Daddy just fell asleep an hour and a half ago. So I yawn, stretch, and accept my fate.

I really did try to move past it, but then (and I cant go into detail because someone I love will read this and I dont want to hurt any feelings) I decided to cheer myself up by opening one gift. Or at least what I thought was a gift. Needless to say I was disillusioned by what I found inside the package, and sat alone on the couch under the Christmas tree pouting while my daughter sang along to her favorite Spot video. Later she began crying over a piece of ice I wouldnt let her hold and I mumbled to myself, "Happy stinking birthday." Of course then I sank into a humiliating guilt trip over my behavior.
"You are a grown woman, this is ridiculous. Stop pouting, kids in Africa dont even get presents. They dont even have a warm house to sleep in. People are desperate for food and your pouting over having to get up early today." I needed a change of scenery. I decided to hit the grocery store.

After buying some cupcakes to cheer me up I called home to see if my husband had awakened. After a short conversation I pause. He says "Well...I love you?" I say, "It's my birthday today." Solid body blow. Of course he apologized profusely and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me dearly and certainly would have said it had I given him a chance when I got home. But the moment didnt add anything special to the way my day was going. (On a side note I want to say that my husband is perfect, the love of my life, and Im not trying to paint an ugly picture of him. Ok baby?)

So, here I sit, my husband had to run out for work until 3:00 or so, and Im relaxing alone on the same couch I sat on a few hours before pouting. Here's a little poem I've composed about my day.

"Thirty-two, and life is blue,
what's a girl to do?
Life is hard, without a card,
or something shiny and new.
What will I do, it's twenty til 2,
and here I sit alone?
I'll eat some cake I didnt bake
and then take out a loan!
I'll buy that coat and hat I saw,
and then I'll buy some more.
I wont come round til the sun goes down,
I might sleep at the store!
That will cure my birthday blues,
that will be my fix!
They wont be able to track me down
until Im thirty-six!"