...sugar and spice and everything nice...

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Waiting is the absolute most difficult thing for me. REALLY hard. I mean, besides being pregnant and then waking up every night for who knows how many months with a baby, it is the hardest thing in the world for me. But then, being pregnant is also waiting, and so is waiting for the baby to finally sleep thru the night consistently. So yes, waiting is not my favorite thing.

I have trouble waiting for slow cars in front of me, do not like waiting at long lights or in long lines. I cannot wait to see what happens next week on my favorite shows and instead opt for the "spoilers" which spoil all the fun I would have had should I have waited. I detest let's "wait and see how things go" and growl at let's "wait and see" and "wait til tomorrow." I dont want to wait until your off the phone, or wait to hear from so and so before we do this and that. I have a very hard time waiting on others, (which is funny because I was a "waitress") and if a book is really good I often find it so hard to wait til the end that I jump ahead and read the big reveal.

I have a hard time waiting. Which explains why I am always a little anxious. And why I am really anxious these days. I am waiting on several things which seem as if they will never be resolved. Patience alludes me. Rest is no where to be found. I know the old adage "good things come to those who wait," but what about "the early bird gets the worm?" Im feelin like the early bird standing by a worm hole with wings folded on his hips and foot tapping impatiently on the ground. "Come on worm! I want answers, I tell you!"

Waiting is not what I want to do. Waiting is now my least favorite word. Waiting is....what I have to do. So I will be here. Waiting... and waiting.... and...

Friday, August 25, 2006

something funny

My husband has played basketball since he was a small child. His love of playing is probably a result of growing up with a basketball coach for a dad. He spent countless days and nights at the gym, traveling to games on the bus, being teased relentlessly by the players years older than him as he sat and watched practice after practice. So a love of the sport grew in his heart and he played thruout high school and college, and still plays to this day.

I have spent many hours on the sidelines watching him play...at the college gym (where we first met), with the church league, at YMCA open gym, and just for fun with friends. And Ive got to tell you, the older guys get, the more emotional they are about the calls, the way the other players play, and well, the unfairness of it all. I mean, take a look at the NBA! Those guys are basically throwing tantrums half the time!

So the other evening we stopped into the rec center near our home to get a flyer about the different events offered this fall. We thought we'd see about the open gym schedule because the prices are very reasonable and Nate wants to get back to playing again. The box containing the information sheets was empty so I approached one of the rec center workers to see if they had any more.

"Do you have anymore schedules?"

She leaned back into the office to ask another woman, "when are those schedules gonna be out? Sept?"
To me she said, "Yeah, they should be out early september. They're gonna be offering a lot of classes for the kids. What is she, three? Yeah, they have all kinds of new things planned for the 3's and the babies."

"Great!" I said, "We were also wondering about the open gym for the men. For basketball. Is there still gonna be open gym?"

"Oh" she said, "You mean the Big Babies??" Leaning back into the office, "When they gonna have the Big Babies open gym?"

And I have to tell you, I cracked up. I looked right at Nate and we shared a moment of silent, uncontrollable giggling. I still dont know if she was serious or just making a joke, but I cannot wait to see the flyer to find out.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

a hula meme

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:

"wounder of the healers rather than a healer of the wounded." ~The Ragamuffin Gospel

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can...what do you touch first?

my little IKEA cup of apple juice

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

I am presently watching an episode of "Dora the Explorer" which Im personally NOT a big fan of.

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, what time is it?


5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?


6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The baby monitor, Dora and Boots singing "Where are we going? Little blue tree! Where are we going? Little blue tree!"

7. When did you last step outside?

yesterday afternoon around 3:30pm for an intensely hot and sweaty hour at the park.

8. What are you wearing?

flip flops, blue sweats and a red t-shirt

9. When did you last laugh?

last night while my husband and i were watching the Finale of "Treasure Hunters." (Yes, tv is just that disappointing these days.) We havent even watched the show much, but it was the only thing on and there were a few pretty hilarious moments in the awkwardly produced final hour. It turned out no one knew how much the treasure was that the "geniuses" won. It appeared to be a huge pile of gold coins. The big event of the evening was the revealing of just how much money the treasure totaled, and Nate and I had a hayday going back and forth on how disappointing it could be. "CONGRATULATIONS, you have won 500,000.......pounds of chocolate coins!" Ok, it was much funnier at the time.

10. Seen anything weird lately?

we killed a huge spider the other day....there is a funny bump on my pointer finger of my left hand....everythings pretty normal around here

11. What did you dream last night?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were skiing down a hill, but it was more like one of those hilly slides you go down at American Adventures. Angelina was on a snowboard and did really well, Brad was going ultra fast and almost wiped out but held on to it and made it to the bottom.

12. What's on the walls of the room you're in?

absolutely nothing but yellow paint. very sad sounding, isnt it? but the room is nice!

14. What do you think of this survey?


15. What's the last film you saw?

Taladaga Nights, the Ballad of Ricky Bobby. It was our first date out in about 4 months, and I have to say i was kinda disappointed. I wanted to laugh A LOT but instead I giggled occasionally.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

a house. because there is nothing i would love more right now. then i would hopefully help a few others fulfill their dreams too.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

I have very odd toes. Everytime I am burping the baby I burp myself. Every Time.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

The way that children are treated, um, mistreated. From going without food, to being used in wars as killers and being tortured just to make things more horrible. This world cares so little for kids anymore, for what they see, hear, endure. The abuse of children and just plain lack of love for them makes my heart literally ache. All they ask for is love and food to live, and a lot of direction in life. It's just a shame to me.

19. Do you like to dance?

Yes, I absolutely do. And I am ashamed of myself that I havent in such a very long time.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

well.....if my next is a girl I have no idea. there was a possibility of a Georgia at one point, but not any longer.

21. Boy?

Im thinking Vince at this point, but have no real idea.

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

ya know, not nowadays. I might have in the past, but this world is too freaky for me to leave what I know. I feel most comfortable and familiar with the good ole USA, so I imagine I will stick around.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

the girls

just a few pics i find pretty dern cute. zaine really does smile a lot! but in these two she has the funniest expressions on her face. and luxie is of course a pro at picture taking and is just so lovely. i'll say it again.... i love these girls!

Luxie really is a good big sister. She loves to hug and kiss all over Zaine, and of course Zaine loves to watch anything and everything Luxie is doing. Here, Luxie begged me to take some photos but Zaine was way overdue for a nap, thus the expression.

And of course our favorite past time, dress up! And nowadays Zaine participates, whether she's aware of it or not!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

she is....

talking! well, as far as i am concerned she is! Zaine is now babbling such things as "buh-buh" as she waves ever so slightly, and my favorite "bububu" for burp. Im not kidding. when she starts making the "buh" sound i go to her and pick her up, burp her and she eventually burps! then she stops making the sound. i really think this is because she has been struggling with burps her whole life, even waking at night because of them, and each time i go in i say "do you have burps?" or "let's get those burps" and im forever saying "burp" this and "burp" that. she tells me she has a burp! it is the sweetest thing.

she is also on the verge of crawling, choosing for now to roll everywhere rather than get up on her hands and knees. this is totally different from luxie who crawled way before 8 months. but then again, they are so different in so many ways. ive always heard moms say that every child is different, but i never realized just how true that is until now. different looks, for sure, but also different styles/stages of sleeping, eating, moving, learning, etc. what an adventure it has been!

Luxie is finding new ways to get my attention, like, um, misbehaving. Wow, she is testing me like never before. The sly looks directly in my face while she does what i just said not to do. Jumping on me from every direction while Im precariously balancing Zaine in a squat position on the floor. Coloring on her clothes with markers. Spitting food on the floor. Oh, the list goes on. And yet she is still such a good girl! She just tries these things a few times to get my attention. And I try to give her lots of attention as it is. REALLY, I think I may have given her too much before Zaine came along and now she doesnt know what to do with herself. And i find myself losing my temper out of sheer frustration at her behavior coupled with the neediness of a baby. I know I know, she's a kid. She's acting normal. And I am learning to just accept that. The funny part of it all is that I would LOVE to spend time with her somewhere away from home, just the two of us. But it isnt real easy right now. Summers stink in the deep south--you are locked inside for a couple of months and that does something to a kid....and a mom...! She's bored stiff and let's face it, I am too! But fall is just around the corner, and so is preschool. And my beautiful girl who is growing up so fast will soon be taking cues from the rest of the world.

We have such a short time to mold and shape them. "They" say that by age 6 you lose the greatest part of your influence on them. How crazy is that? Of course we have so much more to teach them and train them in, but they are no longer in the shelter of the home. They are off making friends, learning from others, watching the world, absorbing all that surrounds them. And I keep reminding myself of this as I struggle thru this season. Now is what really matters. Ive got to do my part now, and not waiver. They grow so quickly.

Friday, August 11, 2006


yes, im doing much better, thank you. although i still find myself in this deep place of wonderment. (is that a word?)

do you ever find yourself longing for things you just dont know if you'll ever have? that is something i have been pondering lately. not just answers to questions, (although i do have lots of questions i long to have answered) but physical, tangible things. not even crazy ridiculously expensive things, just things that would improve life a little. i want to be content with what i have, because i know it is more than i deserve and more than most of the world if you were to break it down that way. but i still have trouble just accepting the good of what i have now.

Friday, August 04, 2006


i have said it before and i will say it again. being a mom is hard work. so hard. i never knew how hard it would be. and it is fun, and amazing, and wonderful, and soooo good too. but so hard. remember that scene in "ya ya sisterhood" when ashley judd just walks away and drives to the beach for a few days. i so want to do that sometimes. just be alone. not be needed. not be depended on. i want to do my things. i want to take care of me for a change. i want to not be guessing all the time. i want to think about things i enjoy. and i do enjoy them so much, but i get so TIRED. so...tired. i want to be at rest.