Quote of the Week

"I'm a genius! I'm a naked genius!"

Ok, I PROMISE not every quote will come from Lux, but I just had to put this one up too. It was too funny. Nate has been saying a little too often that Luxie is a genius. "Wow! what a neat drawing Luxie! You're a genius!" And it has stuck. She now runs around the house singing songs about her genius, proclaiming her genius at the top of her lungs.

And then it happened. In the bathtub the other night she declared, "I'm a genius! I'm a naked genius!" and erupted into song while rolling around naked in the tub.

Dilemma

Well, I guess it isnt a dilemma any more, because I had to make a decision and I dont know if I did what is right!

I have had to go ahead and pick a date for my c-section because unless I go into labor full force before my due date, I will most likely have to have one. My due date is Dec. 20, and you have to schedule your c-section the week before (the 39th week) I guess so the baby isnt huge? Well, the week before is Dec. 12-16 (M-F). They wont schedule for Sat or Sun.

Originally we picked Fri. the 16th, for a number of reasons. First, my birthday is the 14th. We cant pick the 12th because it is more than one week before my due date (by a day). That left the 13th, 15th, or 16th, and we thought the 16th would be great because it is a couple days after my birthday and still close to the orginal due date. And that it was a nice number.

Well, they called yesterday and said basically, "The doctor will be out of the office on the 16th, and the OR has filled up, so we moved the c-section to the 14th." "Oh, well, that's MY birthday and I'd really rather choose a different date if possible. Is there any other day available?" "Not really, except a possibility on the 13th. The 12th is too early, the 15th is full." "Can I decide between the two and call you right back?" "Yes, but you must call right back because the OR is filling up as we speak and we must get you scheduled."

So in less than 5 minutes I had to decide between the 13th or 14th. And here was my dilemma. If the baby were just "being born" on either day it wouldnt matter at all. It would just be "the day the baby was born." But we are CHOOSING the date, and I feel some sort of responsibility to choose well. My choices were not so great, in my opinion. Either the baby will forever share her birthday with me, something I dont mind but I suppose a kid would, or I would be picking a birthdate of the 13th. Now I personally have no problem with the 13th, but the rest of the world seems to. She would be having birthdays on Friday the 13th, 13 always seems to be associated with scary things, evil things, supersticious things. No one wants to wear uniform number 13. You know, all that stuff. I guess I just didnt want us to forever hear, "Thanks a lot, you chose the 13th for my birthday." (If your birthday is on the 13th have you experienced any of this?)

So we stayed with the 14th, my birthday. She will most likely be born on my birthday. I dont mind so much (although I'd rather not undergo major surgery on my birthday...but what a nice little gift!) And I figure that I can celebrate any day, really. I can start having my birthday on the 15th. I dont know. I guess I am curious what anyone else would have done! Even though I wont be able to change it unless I go into labor! The decision is made, the dilemma is over, but still... What would you have done?

Self Portrait Tuesday 10.25

This past Saturday we went to the Pumpkin Farm. My husband tried to catch a beautiful shot of Luxie and I, but she wasnt having it. In fact, I got two shots out of about 50 with her actually looking at the camera...the girl needed a nap! But, since I havent posted anything recent of myself, here ya go. Be forgiving! I am, after all, 8 months pregnant!

Quote of the Week

"MAMA! I FOUND A NUT IN MY BOTTOM!!!" ~Luxie, 2


You can imagine my surprise when Luxie yelled this out yesterday from her carseat behind me! Thankfully she was referring to a nut she had found at the park and had dropped in the seat. She discovered she was sitting on it and excitedly announced this to me.

Friends, I am struggling...

I am just plain having a rough time of it! Life is hard right now, and i hate when it gets this way because, honestly, it really isnt that hard. I have PLENTY to be thankful for, and I am, truly. But sometimes life is still the pits! I dont know if it is the pregnancy hormones, or anticipation of a freaking c section and recovery, and lack of sleep for months, and nowhere to put the baby or if it is literally $100 to my name and bills piling up and a messy house I cant keep control of. I dont know if it is crazy uncomfortable clothes and a big huge belly along with a desperate need for a haircut that I cant afford, or if it is a cranky daughter who really isnt that cranky but just keeps needing so much from me, which I love, but I also just cant take sometimes. I dont know if it is being tired of hot muggy weather that never seems to end even though it is freaking October, or the fact that our van was just in the shop AGAIN for another repair in less than a month. I dont know if it is the fact that the horrible terrible toddler bed has opened the biggest can of worms since her little life began, with suddenly two days of NO NAP (why wasnt I warned about the no nap phase approaching!--the BABY IS COMING! she cant stop taking them now!) I dont know if it is the freaky HYSTERICAL TANTRUMS she has been throwing before bed that have me worried the neighbors think we are abusive--especially as she screams in hysterics "NO DADDY! NO MOMMY! PLEASE NO!" and all I am doing is putting her back in bed!

I dont know if it is the fact that I miss, desperately miss, having great friends. I just dont know what has happened, but aside from my dear, lovely, sister (ok in-law although I think that is the tackiest of phrases) Andrea, whom I love, I just dont have any friends around here. And I need them, I need some fun, cool, young but not too young, exciting but mellow, outgoing but casual, happy but not too perky, witty, charming, deep, dont have to shower every day but still clean up nicely, willing to listen and love to hang out, girlfriends. I miss sharing my daily struggles, triumphs, trials, and laughs with girls like me. Atlanta has been tough that way.

I want to move, I feel the need to start fresh--even if it is just a different home. I want something new, a challenge, (although I have a BIG one coming in less than 8 weeks....)

I am struggling...

Quote of the Week

"There's gotta be more to life than just making out." Stephanie Zanone/Michelle Pfeiffer, Grease 2

Grease 2. Yes I know, Grease is the biggie, the best, the one we all love the most. But Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2 was, for a short time in my young life, the girl I dreamed of being. See, as cool as it was that Sandy from the original Grease was a good girl turned hot mama, Stephanie, in Grease 2, is already a Pink Lady when the show begins. She is the coolest of the Pink Ladies, and the prettiest. And she is willing to give it all up to find that guy on the motorcycle who wont show his face. She falls so hard for him that she has to give up her jacket because she just doesnt love Johnny anymore. The girls cant believe it, "But what about Johnny?" they ask as they make their way across the track during the guy's practice. "There's gotta be more to life than just making out," she replies, with her black shades on and skin tight leather pants. Wow. So cool.

In fact, just to show my love for the film and for Stephanie Zanone, and to prove to you just how cool she was, I will post some of the lyrics to her most popular song from the show, "Cool Rider."

"I want a Cooooool Rider, a Cool, Cool, Cool, Cool Rider,
If he's cool enough, he can burn me through and through, whoooaaaaa.
If it takes forever, then I'll wait forever,
No ordinary boy, no ordinary boy is gonna do,
I want a rider that's cool."

Love

I love this guy. And I love this photo. I love that somehow someone took a photo of the photo and loaded it into our iphotos folder. All blurry and with a shining flash mess across it it just reminds me of how things were back then. Simple. We were young and in love and life was easy--1996?

We are going thru a monumental time of complete unknown coupled with major life changing events right now, and I am so glad I have him to go thru it with. I love him.

Self Portrait Tuesday 10.11

"Mad Teegy"

For Self Portrait Tuesday this week I decided to post a photo that I personally dont think resembles me at all! Nate scanned it for me and put the title "Mad Teegy" on it (teegs is a nickname he gave me a long time ago), thus my caption. I actually wasn't angry...more irritated to be honest. (I can tell by the expression-it has shown up countless times in photos over the years.) It was somewhere around 1998 and it was our first trip to New York City, with his group at the time, Dead Poet Society. We were staying on Roosevelt Island with a couple who were friends with one of the guys in the group. We had a day to explore the city and were waiting for the train at the subway station on the Island. Undoubtedly Nate had been teasing me relentlessly and I became perturbed. He snapped this shot.

Quote of the Week

Luxie is still sick, but the sickness has moved from fever to snotty, terrible phlegm induced coughing fits. Here's a conversation we had last night (warning: do not read if you are eating--I reference her getting sick....)


She'd been coughing all day, but like most kids doesnt realize the point is to get the stuff out, so instead she swollows. In the end most kids end up vomiting because they get so much mucus in their bellies that they feel terrible. We have been praying for her, and telling her that God was going to heal her little body. Letting her know that fever was her body gets rid of the sick. When her fever finally ended after 3 days we thanked God for taking care of her and let her know she was getting better.

So last night before bed she felt terrible. She was laying down while I read her a few stories (Nate was out with his dad) and started coughing real hard--and caused herself to get sick. By the way, this is the first time she's ever thrown up so it was pretty shocking to me too! After taking care of clean up I went to her and said, "Are you ok?"
"Yeah," she said.
"Are you all done getting sick" I asked?
"Yeah, I feel better" she answered.
"Your body is trying to get rid of the sick, so you can get better."
"Oh" she said.

Then I picked her up and she she snuggled in to me and said, "Thank you Lord."

"Thank you, Lord" she was thanking God for helping her feel better by throwing up. How amazing is that? When I am sick the last thing I think about is thanking God. She taught me something about faith last night.

Self Portrait Tuesday 10.

Well, there are no portraits from me this week. I have such a hard time following the great ideas that the orginator of the SPT posts creates. I cant get around to taking the photos before each Tuesday arrives. This month is dedicated to documenting moments of your life in a progressive kinda order and I think that would be amazing! But I just cant do it. I have no energy and I am not even home. So I am wondering if I should continue the SPT or just do my own thing, or not do it at all!

We are visiting grandma and grandpa right now, and it was going to be such an amazing trip...until the morning we were to leave Luxie woke up with a cough....then the first morning here she woke up with a huge fever....and continued coughing...and woke up with a huge fever again the next morning...and has a horribly stuffed up nose, cough, fever thing going. This morning makes day 4 with this thing, although the fever seems to be subsiding. I hate to be sick, and I hate for those around me to be sick. I feel so bad for her, she has no concept of "blowing" her nose, "coughing" it out etc. So she walks around wheezing and having these hysterical fits of coughing or sneezing. Poor girl.

Small towns are part of visiting grandma and grandpa in our family. And it has been wonderful having Nate along to enjoy the ease and flow of the small town, even if they only have a 7:00pm showing at both theatres! (Yes, ONLY 7pm...no matinees, no late shows, only 7pm during the week!) We have been exploring the thrift stores, little cafes, and of course, Walmart. Hopefully Luxie will feel well enough soon that I can sneak out to a movie and Nate can put her down. Until then, I am on sick baby duty!

Quote of the Week

"I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING...I HAVE CHILDREN"


I saw this on a bumper sticker today and actually laughed out loud to myself! What a great quote! No diss whatsoever to those of you without children, Im sure you too are very capable of handling most anything. But as someone with a child and "with child" I will say that I have never known so well before now just what I am capable of handling. And that is why this bumper sticker rang true for me.

Having a child has shown me just how much I can take. From being hit, glared at, yelled at, cried at, thrown up on, food thrown at me, toys thrown at me, hair pulled, breasts bit, sat on, pulled on, whined at, and more I have learned to take a lot more than I ever thought I could before. Going from the predictability of a childless life to complete unpredictablility of motherhood has begun to teach me just what I am capable of. Will we get a full night of sleep to night? Will we have a peaceful meal? Will we get thru the grocery store without a tantrum? Will we make it to the potty in time? Will she eat green beans today after eating them the last year and a half? Will I place the Barbie correctly on the chair? Will she take a nap? Every day seems to be a new adventure, like a rollercoaster you ride each day with new twists and turns each time you get on. Even pregnancy itself taught me a lesson or two. Gone are the days of having any control over my appearance, my weight, my size, my bodily functions! Life is now out of my control, and I have had to learn to roll with the punches. Me, the control freak who lives for order and rhythm.

But there are blessings to it all. Motherhood has taught me that life is more than control and order. There's some fun in the unpredictability too. And watching your child come up with something new on a regular basis makes rolling with the punches a little easier. Ive also been loved on a lot more than I was ever loved on before. And Im a lot more needed and a lot less selfish than I was pre-baby. It's helped me learn that life isnt all about what I need and what I like. Seeing this little person grow into a functioning human being and knowing I had a little something to do with it is quite a reward. Being a parent forces you to handle anything that comes your way; the good, the bad, and the ugly. And you can do it all while packing a 25 lb. noisy, wild animal in your left arm and pushing a grocery cart with the other.